Married to my Job/re-Learning Lessons.

A very wise man once told me that if a married man ever chooses a life of ministry, he had better be sure that his wife is fully on board. His reasoning was simple: If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.


For the last couple of weeks, Adrienne and I have been struggling with our ministry in PNG. More precisely, the struggle that Adrienne has felt, is that she has no place for ministry while we are there. Her "calling" remains unclear, while mine is clear like crystal. This was an unhappy revelation to me when it was first communicated. I was torn. On one hand I was sure of who, what, where, why, and how I was supposed to serve. On the other, I knew that if Adrienne wasn't ready, the whole thing was a no-go.


I was VERY afraid that God was closing the door on PNG totally, and I would have to tell everyone that we were no longer going. Just the thought of doing that makes my blood boil with embarrassment and defeat. I began to resent Adrienne immediately.


During this period, I had a conversation with my friend Joe and the Missions Director from his church. I had gone with the intent of impressing the MD with my preparedness for life abroad, but God guided our conversation elsewhere. He asked about what my wife thought about the whole thing. I was honest with him and his wisdom brought me back to earth. He told me that there is only one job on the planet that no one else but me can do, and that is be a husband to my wife!



I have realized a couple of things since then:



1. I have been unfair to Adrienne. I have been pulling her, pushing her to conform to my timetable and goals


2. While I have been sure of all of the other questions, my confidence in the timing of it all has not been there.




About the second point... When Adrienne's work rejected her request for time off in April that effectively killed our planned Orlando training for that month. When we let "the Organization" know that we were not going to attend, a strange sort of peace settled on us. We were no longer burdened by the looming timeline that we were not really prepared for. The worst part was, we didn't even know we weren't ready! God saw fit to adjust our timing to give us an opportunity to reconcile with one another.




And reconcile we have. Our church has a program called Stephen Ministries, where a person chooses to come along side you in your time of need. Both Adrienne and I have been assigned a Stephen Minister to walk with us through some of these questions that are tough to talk about even with one another. These wonderful people have been a great help to us, providing a listening ear, and giving encouraging advice!




Some of those great big questions for me have been answered. In the last two weeks, I have watched Adrienne find peace in uncertainty, and even get excited about the prospects of ministry in PNG!!! So, once again I learn this lesson: God's timing is not my own.